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Ew gross, I wrote this like a month ago. I may as well post it, but I warn you, its not my best work...



I'm back at my local education establishment. Hope everyone had a most excellent month. What to discuss today?...Ah,how about drunk dials!

It has been my experience that drunk dials have went from something cool, maybe a tad unexpected, slightly funn, but overall,Wwelcomed, -to something far more depressing. Drunk dials have turned into depressing calls to one ex, professions of love, or an airing of grievances. Bring back fun drunk dials. Bring back Dr. Funk Dials.

I propose the only way to save the drunk dial as we knew it, is to team up with an unlikely ally. A blast from the way past, something amateurish, sophomoric, the CRANK PHONE CALL.

I know what you're thinking, the crank phonecall? Are you serious? We live in a world of caller id and cellphone contact lists, not star-six-seven(*67).

I hear ya, trust me. But I do have an answer, a soon to be not-so-secret recipe. Target business, target random numbers that are not random. Party people, we can make this thing work!

Here's a list of awesome numbers you can call, it also gives you a lot of content for your actual dr funk dial conversation. I've listed them as 1-800 numbers, but you can always just type em in with your local area code and see what develops.

1-800-FUCK-YOU
1-800-DR-TITTY
1-800-EAT-SHIT
1-800-TOE-PLAY
1-800-MR-PUBES
1-800-AWESOME
1-800-CUM-BOAT
1-800-BACK-FAT
1-800-BEER-CAN
1-800-ASS-CITY
1-800-FAG-BOT-2
1-800-MRS-LARD
1-800-BOY-TOYZ
1-800-JEW-FART
1-800-RAPE-VAN
1-800-BIG-POOP
1-800-SEX-TIME
1-800-YOU-SUCK
1-800-STAR-WAR
1-800-I-LOVE-69
1-800-PISS-MOP
1-800-???-????

So yeah, call those, the conversation follows naturally. You'll chuckle histarically with your refridgerator running/prince albert in a can type jokes. You sap.

-I'm not even signing this post